Posts Tagged ‘The Message of You’

Is it better to remain silent, or to speak up and confirm you’re an idiot? LifeLesson #12

Sunday, December 20th, 2015

evil hot chocolate

 

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

— Abraham Lincoln

 

The Hot Chocolate Caper

Upon clocking in at school yesterday, Diane, the office manager said,

“Hi Terry, I made hot chocolate for all the teachers. Please help yourself to some.”

“Thanks. I’ll get some a little later.” My hands were full, but I had to bring my class to the library later and I planned to get my cup of hot chocolate then.

At 9:30, as my students worked on the library computers, I slipped out, grabbed a cup of hot chocolate in the office and took it back to the library with me.

I took a sip out of my cup.

Yuck! This tastes like hot brown dishwater!

“What do you think about this so-called hot chocolate?” I asked the librarian.

“It’s ghastly. I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot barge pole,” she replied.

coffee

Then, the librarian left to run some errands.

Since there was no sink in the library, I set the vile concoction inside of a trash can in front of librarian’s desk. There was a plastic bag lining the trash can.

A few minutes later, a couple of other teachers wandered into the library and started chatting.

One of the teachers looked in the trash can.

“Oh my God, someone put a full cup of hot chocolate in the trash can,” she gasped loudly.

My face flushed.

I opened my mouth to admit to my crime, but before I could say a word, the teacher reached into the trash can and removed the cup of hot chocolate.

“This is unacceptable. Who would do such a thing?” she asked with a frown.

It was too late to confess. From the tone of her voice, I realized that the teacher would not be happy until someone did jail time for this heinous crime.

I turned and walked to the other side of the library.

wicke witch

I’ll get you, my pretty!

I was ready for the teacher to look me in the eye and ask in a creaky witch-like voice, “What do you know about this?”

Fortunately, she didn’t ask that question and I soon took my students out of the library and back to safety of the classroom.

I felt guilty for not coming forward with the truth, but I was in a Kobayashi Maru (no win) scenario that would baffle even Captain James T. Kirk.

cap Kirk 2

……………………..Uncle!!!…………………………..

 

I now think that teacher is out to get me, waiting for me to slip up. As I pass down the hallways of school, even if I don’t see her, my back tingles as I feel her evil gaze upon me.

The Lesson

As every politicians knows, the cover up is always worse than the crime. Next time, I will just confess to my error and let the chips fall where they may.

Authors note:

These stories are my attempt to glean insights from the seemingly mundane incidents that occur in every day life. My plan is to capture these “eureka moments” and squeeze all the illumination and inspiration from them, before they can slip through my fingers.

Like the storytelling of Abraham Lincoln, I think one’s own personal stories can transform both the listener and the speaker.

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Saturday, October 17th, 2015

washingdishesrgb“90 percent of friction in our daily lives is caused by the wrong tone of voice.” — Anon

Last night, I told my son Ben to wash his dirty dishes that he left on the dining room table. He was just preparing to play X-box.

It’s hard for me to believe that Ben is 17-ryears-old. I still think of him as the boy I carry on my back when he too tired to finish a hike. The guy I have marathon nerf gun wars with in the house. The boy I read “Green Eggs and Ham” to before he goes to sleep at night.

grren-eggs-and-ham

I ask myself, Is this the same boy who now, apparently, has an adult mind of his own?

“I was going to do it tomorrow,” Ben replied, slightly raising his voice.

“If you wait until tomorrow, it might attract ants,” I said.

“What about Jerry? He has bags of fast food and plates all over his room.” Ben’s face was flushed.

“We’re not talking about your brother, we’re talking about you.” I raised my voice.

“That’s what you always say, but he doesn’t clean up!”

“Yes he does. You’re just trying to get someone else to wash your dishes, instead of you!”

I left in a huff.

When I went out to the kitchen an hour later, Ben had washed his plates.

A Lightbulb Over My Head

images

It dawned on me that I didn’t have to be tough and argumentative. That’s the way my old-school dad would have done it. I realized that Ben is going to wash the dishes either way. It may not always be exactly when I want him to, but he does it.

Aristotle Weighs In

Aristotle said, “Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way… that is not easy.”

Cleaning dishes, like talking while chewing food, does not rise to the level of something to be angry about – unless that food happens to be jelly-filled donuts.

Similies and Metaphors

Rather than a frontal assault, I prefer to politely come at Ben from the side, using similes and metaphors as my weapons of choice. I want to end on a happy note, so the channels of communication are still open for us, not with both us fuming at the end.

metaphor

Mostly, I want to set a good example for him, both for how he deals with other people now and for later, when he has children of his own.

The Lesson

In arguments, being gentle is being powerful. It’s better to use a feather than a hammer to make a point.

Next time, I will count to ten before I tell Ben to clean his dishes. I will use that time to remind myself to maintain an even composure because dishes are truly not worth getting angry about.

Authors note:

These stories are my attempt to glean insights from the seemingly mundane incidents that occur in every day life. My plan is to capture these “eureka moments” and squeeze all the illumination and inspiration from them, before they can slip through my fingers.

Like the storytelling of Abraham Lincoln, I think one’s own personal stories can transform both the listener and the speaker.

———

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Upcoming Presentations

Nov. 13, 2015. “Once Upon A Time: Inspire and engage your audience with stories.” Present Like a Pro Conference. Desert Diamond Casino. Tucson, Arizona.

Nov. 24th, 2015. “Abraham Lincoln: Stories and Humor.” Cholla High School. Tucson, Arizona.

Dec. 15, 2015, 12:40 to 1:00 pm. “Abe Lincoln: The Greatest Storytelling President.” Old Pueblo Rotary Club. Hotel Tucson. Tucson, Arizona.

PresentLikePro-page-001 - Copy

Overcome obstacles and doubts by doing more than anyone expected #TMOY 1 #PeaceCorps #AbrahamLincoln #EleanorRoosevelt #21DayChallenge

Thursday, October 8th, 2015

 

Eleanor Roosevelt visiting soldiers

Eleanor Roosevelt in South Pacific

Life lesson from Eleanor Roosevelt

During WWII, in 1943, Eleanor Roosevelt wanted to travel to the Pacific War Zones and visit wounded American soldiers. Her trip met resistance from top Navy brass. Initially, Admiral Halsey regarded her trip as a nuisance and insisted on surrounding her with so much protection that she felt cut off from the ordinary soldiers she had come to see. However, Eleanor’s indomitable energy and kindness staggered the mind of everyone she met.

When Eleanor Roosevelt visited the wounded soldiers, it wasn’t just a wave and a smile, then on to the next hospital. Eleanor spoke directly to each soldier, comforted them with the words a mother would use with her son, took messages back to their loved ones, and passed along heart felt wishes from the President. The soldiers loved her maternal compassion. Admiral Halsey said “It was a sight I will never forget.”

Halsey later admitted “I was ashamed of my original surliness. She alone had accomplished more good than any other person, or any other group of civilians who had passed through my area.”

Eleanor Roosevelt exceeded everyone’s expectations and her tour graced the lives of countless servicemen.

And, as Abraham Lincoln would say . . . that reminds me of a story.

I had a similar “eureka” moment as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Honduras.

I had dreamed of working in a developing country for many years. However, my experience turned out to be a complete disaster. I returned to school to study agriculture for the purpose of utilizing my knowledge overseas.

Honduran Dream Job Turns Sour

My Peace Corps assignment was to work in a small farming community in Northern Honduras. I started off full of enthusiasm, but within a week I came down with food poisoning and was hospitalized for 7 days.

Upon returning to my site, I felt loneliness, frustration in communicating with the local people (some of whom didn’t seem to like me) and, I was physically exhausted from voracious, industrial sized insects that were attacking my body like the Luftwaffe attacked England. Internally, I had self-doubts about whether or not I could cut the mustard and actually do my job. I felt depressed and it showed in my uninspired work.

One day while walking several miles to visit a farmer, I encountered a hostile looking bull blocking the stream that I had to cross.

Mad Steer

 

Two ladies and several children were standing by looking at the bull.

I asked one lady, “Que pasa?” (What’s going on?)

She said, “El toro esta enojado. No nos deja pasar.” (The bull is mad. He won’t let us pass.)

I looked into the eyes of the bull and we had a “mind meld.” I could feel his fury and his desire to flip me like a pancake if I tried to cross that stream.

MIND MELD Spock

Even though I knew the insects would have a feast on me, like a ravished high school football team at an all-you-can-eat KFC buffet, I jumped a fence and crossed the stream through an adjoining field so the bull couldn’t get me.

When I got home that night. I found I had mosquito and chigger (tiny, super powered mites that burro under your skin) bites all over my body. I could barely move for several days which made me more depressed.

Childhood Memory

I remembered the time I suffered a serious injury in middle school. I missed a month of classes and when I returned, I was overwhelmed by my homework. I doubted if I could ever catch up. I began to think I was not smart enough. Fortunately for me, my American History teacher took me under his wing and to engergize my study habits and to do thinkgs like outline the text book chapters before each test. He pushed me to do far more than was normally expected. Consequently, I caught up on my school work and became  a model student.

I learned that to succeed in achieving goals, I have to do more than anyone else, show super enthusiasm, and throw myself into my workwith reckless abandon.

I applied the same principal in Honduras. I determined that I was not going to give up. Instead, I was going to  work twice as hard as anyone else to be successful.

In doing so, I overcame my obstacles and I came to love my job and the people I worked with. I even stayed a third year in Honduras to continue my work with the Peace Corps.

Lessons 

Action steps I’ve learned to overcome obstacles:

  1. Overcome resistence with indomintable energy and kindness.
  2. Work twice as hard as anyone else.
  3. Move forward with unbridled enthusiasm and reckless abandon.

 

SCAN0249 (2)

Building chicken coop in Honduran school.

Authors note:

These stories are my attempt to glean insights from the seemingly mundane incidents that occur in every day life. My plan is to capture these “eureka moments” and squeeze all the illumination and inspiration from them, before they can slip through my fingers.

Like the storytelling of Abraham Lincoln, I think one’s own personal stories can transform both the listener and the speaker.

———

Related Posts

Yard Sales, Heroic Cats and Zombies

A Mindfulness Trick for You by Lynne Spreen @ Any Shiny Thing

Give yourself permission to feel frustration, then relax and let it go #tmoy #storytelling

A feather is better than a hammer to win an argument #tmoy #storytelling

Don’t let pride stand in the way a brighter future

Use warm memories to replace negative thoughts

A Light Heart Lives Long #EurekaMoments

Turn frustration into creative energy #LifeLesson 7

Act Out Characters to Make a Story Sizzle (video)

Disarm Hostility with Friendliness #LifeLesson 8

You Only Live Twice – Life Provides Second Chances LL #9

Donald Trump vs. Abe Lincoln – #LifeLesson10

Failures Can Be Transformed into Strength – #LifeLesson 11

Is it better to remain silent, or to speak up and confirm you’re an idiot? LifeLesson #12

Think for Yourself: Never Ask a Barber if You Need a Haircut – LifeLesson #13

Upcoming Presentations

Dec. 15, 2015, 12:40 to 1:00 pm. “Abe Lincoln: The Greatest Storytelling President.” Old Pueblo Rotary Club. Hotel Tucson. Tucson, Arizona.