Terry Sprouse for President

My fellow Americans.

Let us examine what “politics” really is.

The word politics is comprised of 2 words.

First the Latin word “poly” meaning “many or various.”

Second, the word “tics” meaning “blood sucking parasites.”


Furthermore, you might have noticed that many politicians are also lawyers. A profession that ranks slightly lower than snakes in most opinion polls.

I ask you, “What is the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish?”

One is a spineless, poisonous blob, and the other is a form of sea life.


Many people have asked me, “Terry, when are you going to throw your hat into the ring to become president and straighten out the mess we are in?”

I have a two part answer to that question;

  1. Yes it could be done.
  2. I don’t think the country is ready for a person with my bold vision of the future and dynamic leadership skills.

My qualifications for this job are almost impeccable.

I have served in nearly every Toastmaster club level leadership position including as President. And I have served as an Area Director.

Yet, some of my critics maintain that this alone is not enough.

I remind you, Abe Lincoln became president with only 3 years of formal education. And he was never even a Toastmaster.


You may ask, “Terry, where do you stand on the issues?”


One of my top priorities is to protect the environment! 

Look at the Grand Canyon. Many years ago that must have been a beautiful piece of land. But we have allowed massive erosion to destroy it.

What about the Post Office?

The federal government spends millions to mismanage postal service. I could lose your mail for half of that.

What about Inflation?

I am prepared to solve that problem no matter how much money it takes.


Let us examine my opponents.


There’s a big campaign in Florida to nominate Ron Desantos for the presidency. You also hear a lot of talk for Donald Duck.

Joe Biden has been the anti-malarky president, but my question is, can Sleepy Joe stay awake long enough to serve one more term?

If Donald Trump emerges as a presidential candidate, I may vote for him, just so I can see what he is up to at all times.


As your candidate. I am prepared to hit the campaign trail running. Kissing hands and shaking babies.  

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid a negative interpretation. Among politicians this is known as “lying.”

My motto to solve the gargantuan problems facing this great nation  is that ‘we must think inside the box.’


Who is Terry Sprouse?


I am just a common, ordinary savior of America’s destiny.

God bless you and God bless the Untied states of America!


A speech presented at “From Pen to Podium Toastmasters,” 3.25.2023.

With a salute to the inimitable, Patrick Layton Paulsen.

Related Links

Like Abe Lincoln, Be Prepared with a “Quip” or a Bit of Humor

Emulate Abraham Lincoln: Make Each Day Count

The “Secret” Daily Affirmations of Abraham Lincoln

Always greet everyone, no matter what they look like

Employ an Affable Lincolnesque Persona

Be a Generous Listener, as Abe Lincoln Was

Deflect Criticism with Self-deprecating Humor

Always Say “Yes”

Be a Master of Disaster – Ponder the big picture

Nourish humor and tell stories, so people say — “I felt like I had known him/her my whole life and we had long been friends.”

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