Archive for the ‘Abraham Lincoln’ Category

Like Abe Lincoln, Be Prepared with a “Quip” or a Bit of Humor

Saturday, December 30th, 2017

“No matter how busy or how deeply engrossed in his work Mr. Lincoln might be, whenever anyone came in he would greet him with a pleasant or humorous remark, and before he left would inevitably tell a joke or anecdote.” John H. Littlefield, law clerk

“If a friend met or passed Lincoln (on the streets of Springfield), something would remind him of a story, and tell it he would.” William Herndon, Herndon’s Life of Lincoln

“In the midst of the most stirring and exciting — nay, death-giving — news, Mr. Lincoln has always a story to tell.” Adam Gurowski, State Department

“Mr. Lincoln’s wit and mirth will give him a passport to the thoughts and hearts of millions.” George Goutwell, Secretary of Treasury.

___

Three Factors that Inspired Lincoln to Connect to People with Humor

“I like people”

1) He had a gregarious personality. He liked people and enjoyed getting to know them.

2) He knew that his appearance was intimidating to others. He was extremely tall and had a homely appearance. To compensate for that, he put people at ease with his humor.

I once worked with a guy named Frank who had a hostile face. If he looked at you, you’d think he was angry with you, but he actually had a very friendly personality. Every time I saw him Frank had a joke or a funny quip to tell. Like Lincoln, Frank used humor to mitigate people’s reaction to his stern appearance.

Leo Gordon as Frank

3) As a politician and lawyer, Lincoln’s quickest path to success was to have the type of personality that allowed him to quickly connect with people.

Building Friendships One Person at a Time

I can’t think of anything more valuable than building lasting friendships. However, we must be subtle and have a plan when first meeting new people. Rather than just launching into a long winded anecdote or knock-knock joke, the best way to meet a new person is to keep your opening remarks short and simple.

Five Ways to Break the Ice

1) Tell an appropriate quip or make a humorous observation.

Use a humorous observation or a pithy quote, from your collection of quips and quotes as a way to show your friendliness and social grace (savoir faire).  If you don’t have a collection, now is a good time to start one.

For example if the topic of lawyers comes up, I’ll say, “It’s unfortunate that 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.”

2) Be lighthearted

Channel your tense energy into just exuding happiness. Smile. Take the attitude that, “I’m just here to be friendly and have fun.”

3) Poke fun at your own distinctive characteristics or personality

I am skinny, balding, 63 years old, incessant worrier, so I am entitled to make fun those characteristics. People quickly recognize that we have certain outstanding characteristics, and they feel more comfortable with us when they know that we recognize these characteristics in ourselves and can make fun of them.

When speaking about my job, I like to say that I do the work of three men – Moe, Larry and Curley.

4) Joke with others in ways that are complimentary to them

One comment I use that pokes fun at a person, while acknowledging respect for them at the same time, is if they say or do something insightful, I respond, “That’s pretty good, for someone who used to be (or who is) a cop.” I say it with a smile. Of course, I would substitute in the appropriate profession, such as teacher, or psychologist, or whatever job they had, or presently have. When said in a jokey way, it works.

5) Express genuine interest

This one hits pretty close to home. How do you think a guy like me, with my prehistoric social skills, ever got married? Fortunately, opposites attract, and I found a wife who had advanced conversational skills. She was able to carry the conversation long enough for us to get married. All I had to do was to act interested.

Very few people don’t open up and come alive when they sense that you really are interested in them, in what they are doing, or what they are interested in.

Practicing for job interview

A Grrrrr8 Job Interview

When I applied for a job as Border Coordinator for the Arizona Department of Water Resources, I was selected as one of three finalists. I had to go in for an interview with the director, who would select the winning candidate. Normally, I have a reserved personality. My philosophy is, “A closed mouth gathers no feet” (Oscar Wilde).

However, I knew the director was a lawyer and lawyers are usually very verbal and assertive. I made up my mind that I would respond to her questions in  the interview in the same vein, as if I too were a lawyer, and like Lincoln, I would shoehorn in some humor.

I had several little jokes and quips memorized for use during the interview. I knew it may not go exactly the way I planned, but my father always told me, ‘As you walk through the cow pasture of life you’re bound to step into the truth once in a while.’ I realized during the interview that the director was enjoying my jokes and quips and that I felt really relaxed with the way things were going.

A few days later, the Director called and said that I was hired.

Extemporaneous Quips Lighten the Workload

Sometimes a good quip will pop into your mind when a humorous situation unfolds.

The other day, I was teaching in a special education class with three other teachers. A boy named Jose, who was unable to speak, had an electronic toy that spoke the letters of the alphabet. Jose apparently liked the letter “D” because he pressed it continuously for about 20 minutes. “D!,D!,D!,D!,D!” It sounded like a jack hammer pounding into the very core of my being.

Judy, one of the other teachers, was working across the room from Jose. She said, in an exasperated voice, “Jose, can you please select another letter. That one is driving me crazy.”

I was sitting next to Jose and I broke the tension in the room by commenting, “Sorry Judy, but Jose is not taking any requests right now.” The other teachers chuckled at my quip.

Enhancing Our Posterity

If we season our conversation with quips or humorous comments, they fizz and sparkle. People remember what we say. It’s like the delicious green frosting on a Christmas sugar cookie.

As Edward Bulwer-Lytton said, “I must leave behind me the remembrance of a bon mot or I shall be forgotten.”

Upcoming Pesentations:

October 20, 2018. How Abraham Lincoln Used Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds and Funny Bones. Prescott Valley Public Library (7401 E. Civic Circle), 1:00 – 2:00 pm. Prescott, AZ.

 

NEW BOOK COMIMG SOON!!!

 

 

Related Links

Employ an Affable Lincolnesque Persona

Emulate Abraham Lincoln: Make Each Day Count

The “Secret” Daily Affirmations of Abraham Lincoln

Always greet everyone, no matter what they look like

Be a Generous Listener, as Abe Lincoln Was

Abe Lincoln and Inner Guidance – stay close to the “cave of the winds”

Always greet everyone, no matter what they look like

Monday, December 25th, 2017

 

“In ten minutes I felt as if I had known him (Abraham Lincoln) all my life. He had the most wonderful faculty I have ever seen in a man to make one feel at ease.” A New York gentleman, from Rufus Rockwell Wilson, Intimate Memories of Lincoln.

“Lincoln greeted me cordially as though we had known each other for a long time. He knew men on the instant.” William O. Stoddard, journalist.

“Lincoln always manifested interest in everybody with whom he associated. When you first met him and studied him he impressed you with being a very sad man and a very kind man. He struck you as being a man who would go out of his way to serve you. There was about him a sense of self-abnegation.” John H. Littlefield, law clerk in the Lincoln-Herndon law office.

“Mr. Lincoln shook hands with me in his kindly way, and the direct simplicity and naturalness of his bearing were then and still remain the exact impression upon me of his daily manner. There was a natural courtesy and real interest shown toward me, with nothing of patronage or condescension.” Charles S. Zane, law student.

“The handshake of the host, affects the taste of the roast.” Ben Franklin
_____

Who was the last stranger that you greeted and shook hands with?

Meeting strangers can be a scary proposition. We don’t know who they are. They might think differently than us, or even be hostile. We may not like them. They may not like us. And of course, Mom always told us, “Never talk to strangers.”

Yet, Abraham Lincoln greeted everyone, without fear, as documented in the above quotations. He was interested in people. He had a desire to help people. As followers of Lincoln we too are obligated to greet all people that enter our lives.

Practicing to Meet and Greet

Recently, I was participated in a Toastmaster Area Humorous Speech Contest. My goal

Confederate and Union soliders shake hands in 1930

in attending was to win the Contest. However, my secondary goal was to apply Lincoln Affirmation #1 (see The ‘Secret’ Daily Affirmations of Abraham Lincoln) and to shake hands and greet the 30 people attending the event. Throughout the event, I walked up to every person I didn’t know and said, “Hi I’m Terry Sprouse. I don’t think we’ve met.” I met 26 of the attendees. I only missed four people who came in late.

I admit I felt a bit like a stalker. After greeting someone, I would casually gaze around the room looking for my next victim. I struck mostly before the meeting began and during the break. My strategy was to choose people who were preferable alone. My second choice was people in groups where I already knew at least one person, then I would pick off the others in the group one by one. The easiest ones were when someone sat near me during the ceremony. “Hi I don’t think we’ve met.” They were like unsuspecting flies caught in my spider web.

Princess Diana greeting AIDS patient

The hardest one was, Juan Mendoza, who I hadn’t met before. I saw him talking to someone at the registration table. Just as I walked up to meet him he walked away. I followed him, like an Africanized bee following my prey, across the room, where he was engaged in another conversation. As he left that conversation, in my exuberance, I jumped in front of him and blocked his path. I blurted, “Hi I’m Terry Sprouse, I don’t think we’ve met.” I probably seemed a little too eager, but Juan took it in stride and shook my hand.

While I did not win the speech contest, I did have a radiant feeling of success because I was able to greet almost everyone and accomplish the goal I had set for myself, through a spiritual link with the Illinois Rail Splitter.

Mission (pretty near) accomplished!

Shaking Lions’ Paws

A few days later, I attended two more meetings. One was at The Lion’s Club, where afriend had invited me to attend a meeting, and later I attended the Toastmaster Division Speech Contest.

Matin Luthor King and LBJ shake hands

At The Lions Club I introduced a new wrinkle into my quest to meet people, I wrote down the name of everyone that I met. I was a hand-shaking machine, and easily met almost everyone there, since they conveniently greeted me, often before I could greet them. I had about a 95% completion rate at Lion’s Club, for the 50 people in attendance.

Another Crack at Toastmasters

At my next meet and greet effort, the Toastmaster Division Speech Tournament, I got only 16 out of about 42, or 38% completion. But, that low showing was because I arrived later than I planned to. Even though I only greeted 16 new people, that’s still 16 more than if I had made no effort.

What happens to these names, you ask?

I transfer the names of all new acquaintances to my Abe Lincoln “Make Each Day Count” Daily Logbook where the names, along with any useful information about these persons, is safely stored for future reference.

As William Butler Yeats said, “There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t yet met.”

Your arrival will always be greeted with excitement

 

Upcoming Pesentations:

October 20, 2018. How Abraham Lincoln Used Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds and Funny Bones. Prescott Valley Public Library (7401 E. Civic Circle), 1:00 – 2:00 pm. Prescott, AZ.

 

NEW BOOK COMIMG SOON!!!

 

 

Related Links

Employ an Affable Lincolnesque Persona

Emulate Abraham Lincoln: Make Each Day Count

The “Secret” Daily Affirmations of Abraham Lincoln

Like Abe LIncoln, Be Prepared with a Quip or Bit of Humor

Be a Generous Listener, as Abe Lincoln Was

Abe Lincoln and Inner Guidance – stay close to the “cave of the winds”

Emulate Abraham Lincoln: Make Each Day Count

Sunday, January 29th, 2017

Introduction

Dr. Josh Axe, author of Eat Dirt, states the reason that most people have toxins leak from their gut into their blood supply, is because of stress. It’s compelling that the number one reason for having a leaky gut is not related to any diet or physical ailment, but rather to how we think!

Psychologist William James observed, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” I don’t know if Abraham Lincoln had a leaky gut, but I do know that he chose his thoughts carefully.

Embrace Your Secret Identity

The key to success in allowing Abraham Lincoln to channel through you, is to be prepared. Imagine the things that will happen to you throughout the day and imagine plugging in your quips and anecdotes ahead of time. Just as Bruce Wayne could switch into his Batman persona, we can switch into our Abraham Lincoln persona when the occasion calls for it.

If you wait to respond on the spur of the moment, then it’s too late. The moment will pass you by, like a speeding train. Have your brain primed to respond, like a loaded gun, then just pull the trigger and fire your quip.

We can never control our circumstances random events that happen to us, but we can have complete control over our observations about the vicissitudes of life. Our quips and stories permit us to filter life’s challenges and to frame them in a way that we allow ourselves to be victorious over them. If we respond to adversity with a smile and an insightful remark, we can never be defeated.

I believe there are two lessons to be learned from emulating Abraham Lincoln:

1) We can accomplish anything if we assume the right personality. Just as if we wish to cross the ocean, we pick the strongest vessel which we know will get us through to our destination.

2) We don’t need to reinvent the wheel. By assuming the same character traits that worked for Lincoln, we too can become the leader, the entrepreneur, the teacher, or any other type of person that we aspire to be. We have the dream and Abraham Lincoln provides the means.

Put Life’s Experiences Under a Microscope

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “You must live in the present . . . find eternity in every moment.”

To really live in the present and find eternity in every moment, we have to truly focus on the things that happens to us each day. We must listen to each word we hear and parse each word we say. No matter what else is true, we know beyond all other truth that we only live in the present. (Except when we come “back from future,” as I will discuss in a later post.) If we don’t cherish what we have right now before us, we have nothing.

The beauty of following Lincoln’s system is that it literally allows us to capture the essence of every day. By anticipating what will happen and preplanning how we will respond to our experiences for that day, we are more likely to stay focused on living in the present. Later, when we evaluate how we performed at the end of each day, we discover the illumination and insight, “eureka moments” if you will, in our daily experiences.

Capture Lightning in a Bottle

Here’s where the power is. When you write it down, you double your experience. When you convert your experience into a story, you triple your experience, and it spreads in concentric circles to brighten the lives of countless others. The initial experience takes on a life of its own.

Upcoming Presentations:

Feb. 4, 2017. Competitive Edge Toastmasters. How To Be a Published Author. Hardesty Center 1100 S Alvernon Way, 8:00 am. Tucson, AZ.
March 18, 2017. Tall Tales Speech Contest, Catalina Area 3, Toastmasters. Tucson Ward 2 Office, 7575 E. Speedway, Tucson, AZ.
October 20, 2018. How Abraham Lincoln Used Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds and Funny Bones. Prescott Valley Public Library (7401 E. Civic Circle), 1:00 – 2:00 pm. Prescott, AZ.

Related Posts:

Always greet everyone, no matter what they look like

The “Secret” Daily Affirmations of Abraham Lincoln

Yard Sales, Heroic Cats and Zombies

Overcome obstacles and doubts by doing more than anyone expected

Give yourself permission to feel frustration, then relax and let it go #tmoy #storytelling

A feather is better than a hammer to win an argument #tmoy #storytelling

Don’t let pride stand in the way a brighter future

Use warm memories to replace negative thoughts

A Light Heart Lives Long #EurekaMoments 6

Act Out Characters to Make a Story Sizzle (video)

Turn frustration into creative energy #LifeLesson 7

Disarm Hostility with Friendliness #LifeLesson 8

You Only Live Twice – Life Provides Second Chances LL #9

Donald Trump vs. Abe Lincoln – #LifeLesson10 

Failures Can Be Transformed into Strength – #LifeLesson 11

Is it better to remain silent, or to speak up and confirm you’re an idiot? LifeLesson #12

Convert Affliction to Anecdote – Utilizing the Stories from Your Hero’s Journey

Virtue Is Its Own Reward

Boldness had Genius, Power and Magic In It

Like Abe Lincoln, Be Prepared with a “Quip” or a Bit of Humor

Be a Generous Listener, as Abe Lincoln Was

The “Secret” Daily Affirmations of Abraham Lincoln

Sunday, June 26th, 2016

We are what we think

 

“You, who are on the road, must have a code, that you can live by;
And so become yourself, because the past is just a good bye.”

— Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young


 We all operate our lives by a “code of conduct,” yet we generally never put pen to paper and jot down our code. Our code operates behind the scenes, in our subconscious mind, guiding our every action.

The same held true with Abraham Lincoln, who never spoke of affirmations, or a code of conduct, but like our own, they were imprinted in the recesses of his mind.

In my attempt to distill the essence of who Lincoln was, I examined extensive observations of Lincoln by his family, friends, and acquaintances. From these “historical snapshots,” I unearthed the preeminent notions that rattled around inside of Lincoln’s head. The compass if you will, that directed him on his “hero’s journey,” all the way from his modest beginnings in rural Kentucky to the White House.

Here then, are the affirmations that Lincoln utilized in every situation, and with each person he met.

For each affirmation, I cite quotes from Lincoln’s contemporaries, or from Lincoln himself, to elucidate the idea.

Channel Your Inner Abe Lincoln

1)  Always greet everyone, no matter what they look like

“He greeted me cordially as though we had known each other for a long time. There JFK Kruschevwas no strangeness about him. He knew men on the instant.” William O. Stoddard, journalist.

“He approached, extended his hand, and gave mine a grasp such as only a warm-hearted man knows how to give.” New York journalist.

“Mr. Lincoln shook hands with me in his kindly way, and the direct simplicity and naturalness of his bearing were then and still remain the exact impression upon me of his daily manner. There was a natural courtesy and real interest shown toward me.” Charles Zane, law student

2)  Be prepared with a “quip of the day”

“No matter how busy or how deeply engrossed in his work Me. Lincoln might be, whenever anyone came in he would greet him with a pleasant or humorous remark, and before he left would inevitably tell a joke or anecdote. Sometimes he told the same story to four or five different person.” John H. Littlefield, law clerk, Lincoln-Herndon Law office

“If a friend met or passed Lincoln (on the streets of Springfield), something would remind him of a story, and tell it he would.” William Herndon, Herndon’s Life of Lincoln

“In the midst of the most stirring and exciting — nay, death-giving — news, Mr. Lincoln has always a story to tell.” Adam Gurowski, State Department

“Mr. Lincoln’s wit and mirth will give him a passport to the thoughts and hearts of millions.” George Goutwell, Secretary of Treasury.

3)  Employ an affable persona – be gentle, kind and courteous

“He was liked by every person who knew him. He made himself useful in every way affablethat he could. If the water-bucket was empty he filled it; if wood was needed he chopped it; he was always cheerful and in a good humor.” Caleb Carman, New Salem resident

“Mr. Lincoln quickly gained the confidence of strangers, and, if they were much with him, their affection as well. I found myself strongly drawn to him from the first, and this feeling remains to me now. He had genuine kindness of heart.” Horace White, journalist

“There was such a blend of dignity and gentleness in his (Lincoln’s) voice and words, that there came a degree of relief to the tension of my first impression (of him).” Henry C. Bowen, editor of the New York Independent and organizer of Lincoln’s Cooper Union Speech (from Lincoln at Cooper Union by Harold Holzer).

4)  Listen to friends, keep open communication channels 

“The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships,” Lincoln letter to Joseph Gillespie, 1849.

“Wherever he moved he found men and women to respect and love him. One man who knew him at that time says that ‘Lincoln had nothing, only plenty of friends.’ ” Josiah G. Holland, author

5)  Inner guidance – stay close to the “cave of the winds”

“The name of the man had come to stand for what he was. In the ‘cave of the winds’ cavewhere he saw history in the making he was far more a listener than a talker. The high adventure of great poets, inventors, explorers, facing the unknown and the unknowable, was in his face and breath, and had come to  be known, to a few, for the danger and bronze of it.” Carl Sandburg, Abraham Lincoln

“In traveling on the circuit, he was in the habit of rising earlier than his brothers of the bar. On such occasions he was wont to sit by the fire, having uncovered the coals, and muse, and ponder, and soliloquized, inspired no doubt by that strange psychological influence which is so poetically described by Poe in ‘The Raven.’ ” Lawrence Weldon, lawyer

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” Oscar Wilde

6)  Note your own flaws, share them with others

“Self-deprecating humor came naturally to Lincoln; once after being called ‘two-faced,’ he quipped, ‘If I had two faces, why would I be wearing this one?’ ” Francis B. Carpenter, portrait painter, 1865

“While riding a train, I was once accosted … by a stranger, who said, ‘Excuse me, sir, but I have an article in my possession which rightfully belongs to you.’ ‘How is that?’ I asked, considerably astonished. The stranger took a jackknife from his pocket. ‘This knife,’ said he, ‘was placed in my hands some years ago with the injunction that I was to keep it until I found a man uglier than myself. I have carried it from that time to this. Allow me now to say, sir that I think you are fairly entitled to the property.’ ” Abraham Lincoln, as told to Francis B. Carpenter, portrait painter, 1865

7)  Constantly improve – push the envelope of your comfort zone

“The way for a man to rise is to improve himself in every way he can.” Abraham
Lincoln

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”
Abraham Lincoln

8)  Offer to help others who cannot return the favor

Ab Trout, a poor barefooted boy, was chopping wood one cold winter day. Lincoln feedinghomelesscame up and asked what he got for the job, and what he would do for the money. Ab said, “One dollar” and pointing to his naked feet said, “A pair of shoes.” Abe told him to go in and warm up and he would chop a while for him. Lincoln finished the work, and told him to go buy the shoes.  William Herndon, Herndon’s Informant’s

Lincoln defended the son of the widow Armstrong, in a murder case. Lincoln saved her boy from the gallows. The only possession she had in the world was 40 acres of land, which she offered to give to Lincoln as payment. “Aunt Hannah,” he said, “you took me in years ago when I was poor and homeless and you fed me and mended my clothes, and I shan’t charge you a cent now.” Andrew Carnegie, Lincoln – The Unknown

“Lincoln chopped wood for widows and orphans. When he saw travelers bogged down, he stopped to help them.” Michael Burlingame, Abraham Lincoln: A Life

9)  Look for the big picture

“We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it.” Abraham Lincoln.

“Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.” Abraham Lincoln, Cooper Institute Address, 1860

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.” Abraham Lincoln, 1854.

“Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.” Abraham Lincoln, Speech to 140th Indiana Volunteers, 1865

“As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy.” Abraham Lincoln, 1858

10) Nourish humor and tell stories, so people say, “I felt like I had known him my whole life and we had long been friends.”

“In ten minutes I felt as if I had known him all my life. He had the most wonderful joke bookfaculty I have ever seen in a man to make one feel at ease.” Rufus Rockwell Wilson, Intimate Memories of Lincoln

“He talked in so simple and familiar a strain, and his manner and homely phrase were so absolutely free from any semblance of self-consciousness or pretension to superiority, that I soon felt as if I had known him all my life and we had long been close friends. He interspersed our conversation with all sorts of quaint stories, each of which had a witty point applicable to the subject in hand.” Carl Schurz, Union General

“From the first moment of my interview with him I seemed to myself to have been acquainted with him for years. For while he was among the most solid of men I ever met he was among the most transparent.” Frederick Douglass, author and orator.

“I really think that Mr. Lincoln’s propensity for story-telling has been exaggerated by his enemies. I had once the honor of conversing with him, or rather of hearing him converse, for several minutes, and in all that time he only told four little stories.” Sarah Jane Lippincott, author


Lincoln Affirmation Card

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Upcoming Presentations:

November 30, 2016. “Uncommon Friendliness: Abraham Lincoln’s Miraculous Formula to Squeeze Every Drop of Inspiration and Illumination Out of Each Day.” Breadkfast Lions Club. Radisson Inn. Tucson, AZ.

 

Related Posts:

Yard Sales, Heroic Cats and Zombies

Overcome obstacles and doubts by doing more than anyone expected

Give yourself permission to feel frustration, then relax and let it go #tmoy #storytelling

A feather is better than a hammer to win an argument #tmoy #storytelling

Don’t let pride stand in the way a brighter future

Use warm memories to replace negative thoughts

A Light Heart Lives Long #EurekaMoments 6

Act Out Characters to Make a Story Sizzle (video)

Turn frustration into creative energy #LifeLesson 7

Disarm Hostility with Friendliness #LifeLesson 8

You Only Live Twice – Life Provides Second Chances LL #9

Donald Trump vs. Abe Lincoln – #LifeLesson10 

Failures Can Be Transformed into Strength – #LifeLesson 11

Is it better to remain silent, or to speak up and confirm you’re an idiot? LifeLesson #12

Convert Affliction to Anecdote – Utilizing the Stories from Your Hero’s Journey

Virtue Is Its Own Reward

Boldness had Genius, Power and Magic In It

Emulate Abraham Lincoln: Make Each Day Count

Be a Generous Listener, as Abe Lincoln Was

——————

Grant Workshop

Arizona Grantwriters “How-To” Conference (for beginners). Nov. 5, 2016, Tucson AZ.

Finally!
A conference for new and aspiring grant writers who want to unlock the secrets to building winning grants! Attend educational sessions and network with other professionals in the grant writing and non-profit community. Participate in an afternoon Bootcamp experience designed to prepare you to write your next grant. 

Registration information.

Deflect Criticism with Self-deprecating Humor

Saturday, May 21st, 2016
einstein

“Yes, I do own a comb. Why do you ask?”

“Do I not destroy my enemies by making them my friends?” – Abraham Lincoln 

Can you remember the last time someone made fun of you because of some physical characteristic that you had? None of us are immune. Aren’t we all too tall, too short, too fat, foo skinny, too young, or too old?

This type of comment seems funny to the critic, but it can sting the recipient.

How should we respond to this type of criticism?

Step 1) Look deep inside yourself and acknowledge the fact that, yes, you do have quasimodo_03certain physical characteristics that make you distinct. (Maybe not as distinct as Quasimodo, but still distinct.)

Step 2) Use self-deprecating humor to deflect criticism.

There is great power in looking inside of ourselves, acknowledging who we really are, and in making fun of ourselves.

Abe Lincoln Example

Abraham Lincoln had a target on his back because he had two unique traits.

1) He was extremely tall and really thin. He stood six foot four inches tall and weighed only 170 pounds.

2) His face was so homely that it frightened small children and horses.homely face

Yet, despite being called “string bean,” “scarecrow” and “gorilla,” Lincoln was bullet proof from this type of criticism because he was better and funnier at criticizing himself than were his enemies.

Lincoln was invited to speak to a conference of newspaper editors in Chicago, some of whom were his fiercest critics. To break the ice he told this story:

One day I was riding along a mountain trail on my horse.

From the other direction came a woman on her horse. She stopped her horse and looked at me.

“I do believe you are the ugliest man I have ever seen,” she said.

‘That may be true, madam, but there’s not much I can do about it,” I replied.

“No, perhaps not, but you might at least stay home.”

The audience of editors laughed with Lincoln instead of at him. Lincoln’s goal was not just to respond to criticism, but to allow people to see his plight and bring them into his circle of friends.

Who, Me? Too Skinny?

Just last week, two so-called “friends” of mine made fun of me for being too skinny.

“Terry you looked like a broom wearing glasses,” said one person.

“Terry it’s so windy today, I’d better tie a sting to you before you fly away,” said the second one.

Okay I get it, I’m skinny. I laughed but I felt a little tinge of pain in my heart.

steve rrevesAs a child I always wanted to be strong and powerful like Hercules. I wished I could throw huge boulders at armies of men and single handedly defeat lions and bears. But, fate insisted that I have a DNA more like Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife. There is nothing I can do about that.

I thought about how Lincoln would have used this situation to convert enemies into friends, and I replied,

“In my defense, my doctor told me that I weigh the exact right amount for someone this awesome.”

My frenemies laughed with me instead of against me. Like Lincoln, I felt I had drawn them a little closer to my circle of friends.

A Deeper Perspective

How do we look at this from a deeper, philosophical view?

We could say, “Their dogma was to criticize me, but my karma allowed me to respond with humor.”

Metaphysically speaking, “my karma ran over their dogma.”

Upcoming Presentations/Events: 

June 10th, 2016. Pascua Yaqui Youth Career Academy Job Fair. Tucson, AZ.

November, 2016. “Utilizing Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds and Funny Bones.” Downtown Lions Club, Tucson, AZ.

Related Posts

Yard Sales, Heroic Cats and Zombies

Overcome obstacles and doubts by doing more than anyone expected

Give yourself permission to feel frustration, then relax and let it go #tmoy #storytelling

A feather is better than a hammer to win an argument #tmoy #storytelling

Don’t let pride stand in the way a brighter future

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Saturday, March 26th, 2016

footprint in beach

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

– R. Buckminster Fuller

Transformational Speaking

Gail Larsen, in her excellent book Transformational Speaking, implores us that if we wish to inspire people, we must tell a better story than the ones we told before. Her book shows us how to make our speeches more moving, inspiring, and effective by speaking from the heart. In essence, if you are not moved by what you say, others will not be moved either.

Virtue Is Its Own Reward

One story that came to mind as I read Transformational Speaking, was when my mother passed away, three years ago in May.

She was in and out of hospitals and rehabilitation clinics a lot at the end. It was a stressful time for both my mother and I. She often said, “My get up and go, got up and went.”

Yet, even in the midst of this hurricane, there were also peaceful moments when we could chat while sharing lunch or when putting a jigsaw puzzle together. I admired how she responded to the difficulties with a kind nature.

Funny Bone Workinghospital foto

However, my blood boiled when health care “professionals” treated her like an object rather than as a person. Even when people acted as though she were invisible, or worse, as though she was not “all there,” my mother never wavered in being thoughtful and accommodating.

One humorous incident that occurred in my mother’s hospital room. My mom was in her hospital bed and a lady walked into the room and stared intently into my mother’s eyes.

“Lois, how are you feeling? Why haven’t you called? We have all been worried sick about you.”

My mother and I both looked at her with blank expressions on our faces.

“Don’t you recognize me, It’s Bernice.”

“I don’t think I know you,” said Mom.

Bernice looked at me and said, “Tell her who I am.”

“I’ve never seen you before.”

Then, this perplexed (and perplexing) woman suddenly walked back out of the room.

“Quick, lock the door. She might come back,” Mom said.

Though most of her other body parts were worn out, Mom’s funny bone was still working like new.

The Lesson

I watched my mother’s courageous example of how to deal with:

1) the physical tribulation of her body wearing out; and

2) the mental antagonism from people who treated her like a “has been.”

I took note as she refused to let life’s indignations tarnish her heart. Instead, she just smiled, joked, and kept on doing the best she could.

When the time comes after “my get up and go got up and went,” I will follow her lead.

Like Abraham Lincoln said,

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have.”

Upcoming Presentations:

April 9, 2016. “Storytelling and The Hero’s Journey.” Competitive Edge Toastmasters. Tucson, Arizona.

April 14, 2016, 12:30 to 1:30. “Use Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds & Funny Bones, Like Abraham LIncoln Did.” Moon Valley Women’s Club, Phoenix, Arizona.

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Sunday, February 28th, 2016

mu114

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
– Joseph Campbell

The Hero’s Journey

In The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell describes the Hero’s Journey as a life-altering quest where, after passing through trials, the hero is transformed to a higher level of consciousness.

The stages of the journey are:cave

1) The “call.” The hero sets off on a quest.

2) The journey into unknown territory.

3) The supreme ordeal. As Campbell puts it, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

4) Sharing the wisdom gained.

Being on a Hero’s Journey enhances the hero’s perception. They feel like unseen forces are intervening to protect and guide them. The hero has a sense that everything happens for a reason.

The Hero’s Journey of Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln was on a Hero’s Journey in his life long quest to become president. In Lincoln’s case, his Hero’s Journey made him aware of the lessons and stories in every day experiences. Life had meaning and seemingly random incidents held significance. He could draw out the deeper gist that existed just below the surface of most people’s perception.

Clip 1:

Clip 2:

 

Grasping “The Big Picture”

Several years ago, when I worked in Honduras, I came across two stonecutters.

“What are you doing?” I asked the first stonecutter.

“Squaring the stone,” the man replied.

“What are you doing?” I asked the second stonecutter.

“I am building a cathedral,” the man replied.

Okay. The second guy was a little presumptuous, but he still gets points for seeing the big picture.

Your Hero’s JourneyHerosJourney41

I believe that we are all on a Hero’s Journey, and like Lincoln, we are endowed with the ability to discern the profound stories and parables that unfold before our eyes every day. We have only to be prepared to see them.

Convert Affliction to Anecdote (Activity)

Put yourself in the right perspective to capture the stories of your daily life.

Write down the significant bad things that have happened to you in life. Then, as bad and unfair as these incidents might have seemed at the time, identify some lessons you learned from them, or how you became a better person as a result.

Here are some examples (based on personal experience):

1) How missing a flight and having to spend the night in a strange city with your kids became a treasured memory.

2) How an illness indicated you that you needed to make changes in your unhealthy life style.

3) How being replaced by a chimpanzee at your job led you down the challenging path to work that was closer to your heart.

4). How you looked deep inside yourself for the fortitude to bounce back from a dismal failure.

Are the catastrophes of life bad, or is life just trying to teach us a lesson?

The Hero’s Perspective: Change Your Unholy Mess to Unparalleled the-wicked-witch-of-the-west-ozMetaphor

You show me someone who is on a Hero’s Journey and I’ll show you a resilient, unflinching individual who converts life’s challenges into stories of inspiration, strength and humor.

To paraphrase author Norman Maclean, from A River Runs Through It,

“In the end, all our failures and successes merge into one, and a story runs through it.”

Upcoming Presentations:

March 21, 2016, 7:00 am. “Finding Stories in Your Hero’s Journey.” Aztec Toastmasters. Tucson, Arizona.

April 9, 2016. “Storytelling and The Hero’s Journey.” Cometitive Edge Toastmasters. Tucson, Arizona.

April 14, 2016, 12:30 to 1:30. “Use Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds & Funny Bones, Like Abraham LIncoln Did.” Moon Valley Women’s Club, Phoenix, Arizona.

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Abraham Lincoln and the Kindergarten Class

Monday, February 22nd, 2016
download

Abraham Lincoln’s dog, Fido

When I got him out he was near froze solid and shivering. He was shaking so hard that I wasted half a glass of whiskey trying to aim it for his mouth. Must have got enough of it into him, though, since it did seem to bring him back to life.

Abraham Lincoln, on what it took to save his dog after pulling him from a river where he went through thin ice

 

Last Wednesday I spoke to the Kindergarten class at St. Cyril’s School.

The class was studying Abraham Lincoln and as an author of a book about our 16th president, I was honored with an invitation to speak to the class.

I was amazed at how much these young Einsteins knew about Mr. Lincoln. The regaled me with facts about his life that even I didn’t know. I shared a few stories with them.

What seemed of most interest to the students was information on:

1)  Lincoln’s pets.

a) Abe Lincoln’s beloved dog “Fido,” was Lincoln’s constant companion as he walked the streets of Springfield. Fido had to be left behind with friends when the Lincoln family moved to the White House. Lincoln feared that his faithful friend could not survive the trip.

Lincoln on "Old Bob"

Lincoln on “Old Bob”

b) “Old Bob,” Lincoln’s horse that he rode as President in Washington, D.C. When Lincoln died, “Old Bob” pulled the wagon carrying his master’s coffin through the funeral procession.

William “Willie” Lincoln

 

2) Lincoln’s children – Eddie, Willie, Tad and Robert.

Eddie died of tuberculosis in Springfield, Illinois, in 1850, at age 4.

Willie died of typhoid fever in Washington, D.C., in 1862, at age 11.

Tad died of tuberculosis in Chicago, in 1871, at age 18.

Only Robert lived into adulthood. He became a lawyer and served as Secretary of

Thomas “Tad” Lincoln

War, Ambassador to England, and was often mentioned by the Republican Party as a potential candidate for President.

However, Robert never aspired to be President. He died in Manchester, Vermont, in 1926 at age 82.

Speaking to the Kindergarten class was a great thrill for me. Their love of learning about Abraham Lincoln rejuvenated my faith in the next generation.

Robert Todd Lincoln

Class photos:

20160217_133701 (3)

 20160217_135919
 Upcoming Presentations:

March 21, 2016, 7:00 am. “Finding Stories in Your Hero’s Journey.” Aztec Toastmasters. Tucson, Arizona.

April 9, 2016. “Storytelling and The Hero’s Journey.” Cometitive Edge Toastmasters. Tucson, Arizona.

April 14, 2016, 12:30 to 1:30. “Use Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds & Funny Bones, Like Abraham LIncoln Did.” Moon Valley Women’s Club, Phoenix, Arizona.

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Sunday, December 27th, 2015

roto rooter truck

“Trust everyone, but always cut the cards.”

— Anon

The Roto-Rooter Christmas Grinch

Two days before Christmas, the sewer backed up in my house.

My brother suggested that I try Roto-Rooter (slogan: We’re #1 in the number 2 business!). They charged him $65 to clean out his clogged sewer pipe. My regular plumber charges $95.

I gave Roto-Rooter a call.

“Helloooo, this is Roto-Rooter, Susan speaking.”

“Hi Susan, my name is Terry, I have a backed up sewer and need it cleaned out. I understand that you charge $65.”

Several seconds passed with no response.

“Hello,” I said.

“Yes, well we don’t have a $65 service. That might be Rapid Rooter. I can send a plumber over to give you a free estimate.”

A red flag started waving in my mind.

I thought, I’ll let them do the free estimate. How much could a simple job like this cost?  

“Okay,” I said, “send him over for a free estimate.”

“How will you be paying for the service, by credit card, check or cash?”

Another red flag went up.

“Credit card,” I replied.

The plumber arrives in an official red, white and blue Roto-Rooter truck.

He said, “Hi I’m Frank,” as he smiled and shook my hand.

We exchanged pleasantries then he quickly inspected my sewer setup.

Grinch

Today is your lucky day!

“I can clean out your main sewer drain for only $225.”

“That sounds a little high. It’s only a 10 minute job.”

“The $225 is actually a Christmas present we are giving to our customers. We normally charge $300.”

“Really? I’d call that more of a Christmas present that Roto-Rooter is giving to itself, at the expense of its customers.”

“Would you rather have sewer water in your house?”

“No, I’d rather call someone else who will charge a fair price.”

“Okay. Have a good day,” He said, but he was probably thinking,

There are plenty of other easy marks willing to pay the Christmas ‘special’ price.

I called my regular plumber and paid the $95 to have the sewer pipe cleaned.

I wondered how many other innocent victims fell for this Grinch-like mumbo jumbo.

Your Car Will Crash and Burn!

This Roto-Rooter ploy reminded the cross-country trip my family took when I was 10 years old.

national-lampoons-car

The engine in our 1964 Chevy Station Wagon started making a funny noise near Wichita, Kansas. My father stopped at a garage to have it checked out.

After a twenty minute wait, a greasy mechanic, with the nametag “Bob,” came out. He said,

“You need to replace the thermostat and you need a balancing rod.”

My dad replied, “Just replace the thermostat, Bob.”

“I highly recommend a new balancing rod. I wouldn’t drive this car another mile without it.”

“No thanks.”

After the mechanic left, I said, “Dad, I’m worried, it sounds like we really need that balancing rod.”

“We’ll be okay.”

While waiting for our car, I heard the same mechanic tell another customer, “Your car needs a new balancing rod. I would be afraid drive that car without it.”

I was stunned. A mechanic would actually lie to someone about his car?

The Lesson

The next time I smell a rat like Frank or Bob, I will avoid that business the same way I avoid clichés – like the plague!

Authors note:

These stories are my attempt to glean insights from the seemingly mundane incidents that occur in every day life. My plan is to capture these “eureka moments” and squeeze all the illumination and inspiration from them, before they can slip through my fingers.

Like the storytelling of Abraham Lincoln, I think one’s own personal stories can transform both the listener and the speaker.

Upcoming Presentations: 

February 17, 2016, 1:30 pm. “Life of Abraham Lincoln.” St Cyril School , Tucson, Arizona.

March 21, 2016, 7:00 am. “Finding Stories in Your Hero’s Journey.” Aztec Toastmasters. Tucson, Arizona.

April 9, 2016. “Storytelling and The Hero’s Journey.” Cometitive Edge Toastmasters. Tucson, Arizona.

April 14, 2016, 12:30 to 1:30. “Use Stories to Touch Hearts, Minds & Funny Bones, Like Abraham LIncoln Did.” Moon Valley Women’s Club, Phoenix, Arizona.

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Sunday, December 20th, 2015

evil hot chocolate

 

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

— Abraham Lincoln

 

The Hot Chocolate Caper

Upon clocking in at school yesterday, Diane, the office manager said,

“Hi Terry, I made hot chocolate for all the teachers. Please help yourself to some.”

“Thanks. I’ll get some a little later.” My hands were full, but I had to bring my class to the library later and I planned to get my cup of hot chocolate then.

At 9:30, as my students worked on the library computers, I slipped out, grabbed a cup of hot chocolate in the office and took it back to the library with me.

I took a sip out of my cup.

Yuck! This tastes like hot brown dishwater!

“What do you think about this so-called hot chocolate?” I asked the librarian.

“It’s ghastly. I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot barge pole,” she replied.

coffee

Then, the librarian left to run some errands.

Since there was no sink in the library, I set the vile concoction inside of a trash can in front of librarian’s desk. There was a plastic bag lining the trash can.

A few minutes later, a couple of other teachers wandered into the library and started chatting.

One of the teachers looked in the trash can.

“Oh my God, someone put a full cup of hot chocolate in the trash can,” she gasped loudly.

My face flushed.

I opened my mouth to admit to my crime, but before I could say a word, the teacher reached into the trash can and removed the cup of hot chocolate.

“This is unacceptable. Who would do such a thing?” she asked with a frown.

It was too late to confess. From the tone of her voice, I realized that the teacher would not be happy until someone did jail time for this heinous crime.

I turned and walked to the other side of the library.

wicke witch

I’ll get you, my pretty!

I was ready for the teacher to look me in the eye and ask in a creaky witch-like voice, “What do you know about this?”

Fortunately, she didn’t ask that question and I soon took my students out of the library and back to safety of the classroom.

I felt guilty for not coming forward with the truth, but I was in a Kobayashi Maru (no win) scenario that would baffle even Captain James T. Kirk.

cap Kirk 2

……………………..Uncle!!!…………………………..

 

I now think that teacher is out to get me, waiting for me to slip up. As I pass down the hallways of school, even if I don’t see her, my back tingles as I feel her evil gaze upon me.

The Lesson

As every politicians knows, the cover up is always worse than the crime. Next time, I will just confess to my error and let the chips fall where they may.

Authors note:

These stories are my attempt to glean insights from the seemingly mundane incidents that occur in every day life. My plan is to capture these “eureka moments” and squeeze all the illumination and inspiration from them, before they can slip through my fingers.

Like the storytelling of Abraham Lincoln, I think one’s own personal stories can transform both the listener and the speaker.

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